Stark's Cat
by HesMines
Summary: Tony Stark wouldn't do something as normal as buying his girlfriend a cat...would he? He would, however, teach that cat how to video call. No matter what it does to his reputation as a self-obsessed playboy. Missing moment/AU on the hellicarrier during the Avengers. Pepperony.


**An Avengers missing/AU moment. AU because of the fact Tony and Pepper have a cat, but in my head the whole phone call idea just kind of slips into the plot nicely. I think the others (Fury, Phil and Natasha) were pretty quiet, but when I tried to add in their heads it just all seemed messy and repetitive because no one had anything new to say. May be a oneshot...my plot bunny hasn't decided if Tony's 'I have a semi-normal life outside of the suit' revelation will send Thor off to fix things with Jane or not. We'll see. If I continue down that line I'll move this over to the Avengers section.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any of this...well except Nutmeg :)**

* * *

"How's that tracking coming?" Nick Fury swept into the lab like an angry, oversized bat. In his wake were Thor, Agent Romanoff and Agent Coulson, all looking appropriately grim. It was obvious that they had returned from another unsuccessful attempt to get Loki to talk.

Steve merely looked between the two scientists in the room, hoping that they would make more sense when answering a direct question from Fury than they had been in the previous ten minutes. Between theorising about what Fury was hiding and explaining _how_they were tracking the cube, Steve was well and truly lost. Completely lost.

Tony shrugged non-committingly, more interested in deconstructing the results from their latest search. Bruce mirrored Tony's shrug, barely glancing up from his screen to answer, "We can tell you where it's not."

"That doesn't help matters, Doctor, Loki is up to something and if we don't find that cube -"

"I really don't think you're in the position to be making demands, _Nick_." Tony interrupted Fury, rolling his eyes as he jumped off the bench he'd been sitting on and pushing his screen off to the side. Banner was one of the few people Tony actually liked, and it wasn't exactly a long list, so he had no problem in standing up for his...friend? They maybe weren't friends _per se_ but they got on pretty well, and Tony got Bruce's dark sense of humour, while the scientist wasn't offended by Tony's. They were at the beginnings of a friendship.

Bruce would never admit it, but he had been pleasantly surprised by the billionaire. He didn't know what he had expected, but it hadn't been someone who didn't seem fazed by the fact Bruce could hulk out at any moment. Like now, Tony was standing up to Fury on Bruce's behalf. Not because he didn't want Bruce to get angry or because he thought the mild mannered scientist couldn't stand up for himself, but because he respected Bruce and he knew how much work had gone into narrowing the search down as far as they had. Although 'Bruce' didn't know that to put that into words, he just had a feeling that Tony could be trusted. It was the Other Guy who dealt with gut instincts.

"If you want to continue the search yourself, by all means do so." He turned towards one of the screens and started pulling countries off the map and placing them in the recycling bin. "We'll even leave you with the new search radius." When he was finished with removing all the unnecessary data from the screen, he turned back to Fury with a smirk and added, "But I doubt you'll get far if Banner and I walk off this ship and take the search algorithm with us."

"Oh, come off it, Stark," Steve crossed his arms and threw a scathing look at Tony. There was no love lost between the two, they were there simply because they had both been drafted in. Steve by his sense of duty, Tony...well Steve wasn't exactly sure why Tony was there. But he was, and until this was all over he'd need to put up with Howard's obnoxious son. "There's no need to be difficult."

"I hate to break it to you Cap, but this? This isn't difficult. This is merely me pointing out that – Nutmeg?" Tony's attention snapped from the argument as he caught sight of something familiar in his peripheral vision. Turning toward another of the screens, he saw that he wasn't imagining things. There, in a little window in the corner of the screen, was Nutmeg.

The change was almost instantaneous. By the time he'd taken the second step towards the screen the transition between Tony Stark: resident jackass and Tony Stark: cat owner was complete. His demeanour had softened, his tone was more relaxed...he suddenly seemed human. "Nutmeg, honey, what are you doing?"

The blue-grey Chartreux on the screen looked nothing like its namesake, but Tony knew that Pepper had the name picked out before he'd bought her the cat. Nutmeg was an impulse gift - three months before they got together, he'd been attending one of the benefits for a local animal shelter alone. Pepper was ill, for possibly the second time in all the years he'd known her. When he'd heard her croak through the phone, he immediately told her to take the day off. She had made him recite his schedule (all three meetings and the shelter visit) six times, and elicited several promises that he would be on his best behaviour before she agreed to stay in bed.

Nutmeg - then nameless - was one of the kittens he'd been introduced to. Eleven weeks old, her mother had been abandoned at the shelter when her owner had realised there was a litter on the way. One minute he'd been looking down at the little family in their pen (that was why he supported _this_shelter, the animals had freedom to move around and weren't confined to cages 24/7) and pretending to listen as the owner babbled on about how his money helped, the next the fearless little grey kitten he had been watching decided that his tie would look better in her claws than on him.

He was sold.

He spent the rest of the visit with the kitten in his arms and the hour of that time that Nutmeg lay on her back swatting his tie (before tiring herself out and going for a nap) only strengthened his resolve. This kitten was coming home with him even if he had to steal her...or maybe he'd just double his donation. By the time the tour was over, JARVIS had ordered a few thousand dollars worth of stuff for the new addition (what was the point of having a pet if you couldn't spoil it?) and had researched cat ownership to the point Tony was almost positive he couldn't screw up.

Adopting the kitten had been surprisingly easy. The owner informed him that there was usually a re-homing fee, but that his donation had more that covered it...he found out what the fee was then added a few zeros. Just to be on the safe side. Then he'd added his name under Pepper's while he was filling out the paperwork. The kitten was her gift, but he wanted to ensure visitation rights. Pepper had mentioned weeks before – when they'd scheduled the visit – that she'd always wanted another cat. Apparently she had one when she was a kid, but didn't want to tempt fate into making her a crazy cat lady before her time.

Well, now _they_ had a cat. It was totally acceptable.

Nutmeg stayed with Pepper most of the week, but if she knew she was going to be working late Nutmeg normally accompanied her to the mansion. Or if Pepper had a lot of work to do and needed peace, Nutmeg was sent over to him for a day or three. And he could – and did – visit whenever he wanted. It was the perfect arrangement.

However, the fact Nutmeg was a total daddy's girl and knew how to video call (he'd been bored and decided to prepare for the eventuality that Nutmeg might need them while she was alone at home) had landed him in a few hotspots. Like when she'd called him in that Board meeting because Dummy had pulled her tail. When Pepper had found out, she couldn't decide whether or not she should kiss him or strangle him for walking out of the meeting so he could rush home to check on the cat.

So he wasn't completely blindsided by the fact Nutmeg was now rubbing her head against the screen as if it was really him.

Sighing, Tony decided that now really wasn't the best time to sit and calm his cat down over whatever was wrong. She probably just missed him. And it probably wasn't doing much for his reputation amongst the SHIELD agents and Thor. Quickly reading the screen, he saw that Nutmeg had somehow used Pepper's phone. That was new. "Pepper! Your cat's got a hold of the phone again!" Hoping Pepper – or at least JARVIS – had heard him, Tony turned his attention back to the cat, "Nutmeg, where's mommy? Hmm? Where is she?"

Nutmeg's only reply was to meow pitifully at him, pawing the screen like she would his pant leg when she wanted attention.

Although Tony was firmly ignoring the others in the room, they were openly gaping at the scene unfolding in front of them. Bruce and Coulson were the only exceptions. Coulson because he'd had the pleasure of meeting the cat before, she hated him, and Bruce because the knowledge wasn't new. While they'd been working, Tony had remarked that it had been easier to teach his girlfriend's cat to use the phone than track the cube. Coming face to face with the aforementioned cat only proved Tony's point.

Steve had been butting heads with Stark constantly since they'd met. Tony's whole being didn't fit into the Captain's view of the world...there was just so much _wrong_ with how he behaved. He could see it coming to a head in the near future, because they both had tempers that made a conflict inevitable. However...seeing Tony act almost human...knowing that he did something as normal as own a _cat _(even though it was probably the most spoilt cat on the west coast) ...it didn't sit with the image Steve had in his head.

Suddenly, a feminine laugh could be heard in the background of the call. With his back to them, no one could see how Tony's entire being lit up at the sound of Pepper's voice. "Nutmeg, sweetheart, I'm sorry but even Daddy can't save you from the carrier."

Two hands suddenly came into view, lifting the cat out of the picture with one and the phone with the other. A smiling Pepper was suddenly on display to the room, Nutmeg held close to her chest. Laughing, Pepper explained, "Since you're...wherever you are, it means this little princess has to come to DC with me. And since Daddy being a billionaire only waives so many regulations..." Another meow from the Nutmeg. Tony winced. Pepper laughed. "You're terrible you know that? She'll be out of it as soon as we're on the plane."

Tony could have sworn Nutmeg's latest meow sounded exactly like a child whining _Daddy_, but no one would ever back him up. Except Banner, who actually heard the same thing and wondered if Tony was attempting to teach his cat English...

At that point, Pepper noticed the people in the background and suddenly her whole demeanour shifted from teasing girlfriend to professional. "Natasha, hey, I almost didn't recognise you with short hair," she smiled, then her head cocked to the side as she asked, "That the team? Is everything going okay?"

This question was directed at the others, not Tony. Thor was still mystified by the technology – Asgard was more advanced, but their communication systems were nothing like this – and Steve was struggling to comprehend how everything he was witnessing fit together. Bruce, however, had no qualms about answering Pepper. Shrugging, he said, "Badly pretty much sums it up."

Almost instantly a frown formed on Pepper's face, but before she could say anything Tony interjected, "Thank you! Pepper, Bruce Banner." He turned around and moved towards Banner. Throwing his arm around the scientist, he steered the other man towards the screen so Pepper could get a better view. Meanwhile, he continued his introductions, "He's the only other person on this goddamn ship who speaks English. Or has any measure of sanity. Doctor, Pepper Potts." He gestured towards the screen. "COO of Stark Industries, PA extraordinaire, love of my life, and ninety percent of the reason I ever leave my garage. And that's Nutmeg. She's a cat. Obviously."

Nutmeg meowed again at her name, trying again to get to the screen holding Tony's image. As smart as she was, she still didn't quite understand that the picture on the small screen wasn't actually Daddy.

Bruce nodded and offered a smile at Pepper, unsure of how he was actually supposed to react when introduced to a cat, while Pepper answered with a grin and a 'hi'. Before she could ask about anyone else, Pepper turned towards something off screen that no one else could hear. When she turned back her smile was apologetic as she explained, "That was Happy. The cars ready. Which means you" she aimed at the ball of fluff in her arms, "need to get in your carrier. Right, Tony?"

Tony just shrugged in agreement, deciding that he didn't actually need to comment. Pepper laughed, suddenly realising how this whole conversation would look in front of the others. She had a pretty good idea who everyone in the room was, thanks to the file that she knew nothing about, and Tony was the only one with an _official_ significant other. It was a definite change from the norm.

Tony liked to keep his private life exactly that, _private_. Phil had met Nutmeg by pure coincidence, he'd called by the mansion one day and Tony had come up from the workshop covered in oil, grease and cooing at the kitten in his arms. Some things could just not be unseen, and Phil ranked that incident up there with walking in on Fury and one of the girls from R&D. Therefore, tales of Nutmeg's existence never left his mouth.

The week Natasha had worked as Tony's assistant, Pepper had kept Nutmeg firmly out of Tony's grasp. If they were going to have an all out war, she was not beneath using their pet as a weapon. If she couldn't get through to him, maybe withholding his visitation would. Consequently, Natasha had left with the idea that the only pet Tony could ever keep alive was a rock. As for Fury, they had decided to keep Nutmeg out of his grasp in the same way they would keep a child away from him. Nutmeg was not something that could be used as leverage.

The other two in the room were a little different. Steve Rogers and Thor didn't know who Tony was before this whole thing had started. And, knowing him as well as she did, he would have pissed them off beyond belief and they'd think he was an arrogant, insufferable rich kid born into the empire. Thor wouldn't see the similarities, and Rogers would most likely spend the whole time mentally comparing Tony to his father. Tony would have them right where he wanted them – they didn't give a damn about him and he could walk away from the project without any guilt. However, the only downside of presenting yourself as an insufferable jackass is that, when something to counteract that appears, people just cannot make it compute.

Which is fine for business meetings and with the press...but that room of people were meant to be a team.

The people at SI who they dealt with on a regular basis wouldn't mention a Nutmeg incident – they were either relieved to see the untameable playboy settling down, albeit in his own eccentric manner; their personal lives were in such shambles that they couldn't comment on his; or they were too scared of or respected Tony too much to comment on the fact he had taken the time to teach his cat to video call. But in SHIELD, a normal family life was an alien concept.

Part of her wanted to see how Tony would handle the fallout from this. He wouldn't deny that they were important to him, but there were only so many ways you could remain the aloof, self-obsessed jackass when people knew you had a girlfriend and a cat back home. You were still a jackass, but the edge would be taken off.

Grinning, she offered Tony one last winning smile, "I'll see you soon. And please behave. I don't need to turn on the news and see you blowing something up."

Tony grinned at that one, knowing she was only half-serious. However, he nodded in acquisition and offered her a salute. "See you soon."

A moment later, Pepper disappeared from the screen. The silence in the room stretched on for a long moment before Bruce suddenly turned to Tony and asked, "Did you actually just introduce me to a cat?"

"Yes I did." Tony nodded, clapping Bruce on the back and turning to walk back to the screen with the search radius. Pulling more unwanted data from the screen he continued, "And that is another reason why you should come by Stark Tower. The top ten floors might be R&D and have all the toys, but the penthouse has the cat. And Pepper keeps telling me that petting the cat lowers the blood pressure."

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**Random fact, when this started in my head I wasn't sure if the idea of Nutmeg was going to be a cat or a kid!**

**So, what did you think? Drop me a line and let me know :)**


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